Apr 15

Apr 15 Going grey - should you? Shouldn't you?

A meme doing the rounds in the early stages of the first lockdown joked about the fact that it would only be a matter of weeks before we discovered what everyone’s natural hair colour was.

Now the re-opening of hairdressers here in the UK after the long second-lockdown shut-down, has seen thousands of women, and quite possibly men too, excitedly rushing to reclaim their grown-out roots and restore their dyed/highlighted hair colour.

Such an extended period of being denied access to our patron saints of the (hair) paintbrush has not only, quite literally, revealed our roots, but also laid bare a long-standing debate on covering up your naturally grey hair. Should you? Shouldn’t you? Does it really matter either way?

What I think about grey hair

Let me start by saying, loudly and unequivocably that I bloody LOVE grey hair. I think it can be stylish, glamorous, beautiful, elegant, sexy, flattering and generally gorgeous. In exactly the same way hair of any colour can be.

I personally know and follow on social media, many people - women and men - of various ages, who have the most fabulous grey hair. Nothing about their greying locks makes them look anything other than great.

Some of the gorgeous grey-haired women I follow on Instagram. Clockwise from the big pic Deborah Chambers (deborah_darling), Jayne Marsden (silverjayne), Annika Von Holdt (annikavonholdt), Walda (wellness_with_wald)

But I also know, and follow, many others who, for various reasons, prefer to cover up their grey. Feeling that it drains them, or makes them look, actually feel, old.

And whilst I wouldn’t dream of passing judgement on either group for their personal choices, the nub of of any potential dilemma is in that last sentiment, isn’t it.

The gnarly, frustratingly ingrained nub that insists that grey hair is a sign of ageing. And that ageing is something we should all be fighting off with the biggest stick we can find.

This isn’t a surprise

I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise, that I have a very big problem with that. As I’ve written about in several blogs (including this one on being proud of our ageing bodies, this one on turning 60, and this one busting some of the myths about ageing) I’m passionately of the opinion that ageing is something we’re fortunate, indeed privileged, to be able to do, and therefore something that should be celebrated and enjoyed, not dreaded and disguised.

I would certainly challenge, or at the very least, question, covering up something just because you worry that other people will think of you as being old, and therefore less appealing, because of it.

However, I would equally passionately defend anyone’s right to do whatever they choose to look and feel they best they can at any age.

And no, I don’t think those two statements are contradictory.

If having grey hair is something that makes you look and feel drab, drained and dispiritingly less yourself, and if you’re an altogether brighter, bolder and better version of you with hair that’s blonde, brunette or blue (I’ll stop with the alliteration now), then I can’t think of better reasons to get busy with the dye.

But if you’re reaching for the hair colour just because you believe that you will somehow have less value or tenancy if you’re grey. Or if you feel that sporting grey hair firmly shoves you to the sidelines either in terms of how attractive you’re perceived as being, or in relation to your currency, then I would be more inclined to wonder, and challenge, why that is.

And why what anyone else thinks matters if the reflection that greets you is someone who’s confidently, boldly and beautifully their comfortable self. Whether that’s with grey hair or not.

What about me?

As for me, I can’t wait for the day when my hair goes fully grey. At the moment it’s only really grey right on the top of my head (and, I’m delighted to report, a really fabulous grey at that). Everywhere else it’s either still the dark brown it’s always been (around the back of my head), or a disappointingly scrubby mix of that and some very half-hearted grey strands (everywhere else). A mix that I think makes me look messy, whatever style I have, and feel correspondingly disheveled both literally and emotionally.

So I choose to hang on to the, cleverly silvery blonde, highlights that lift and lighten both my colour and my sense of self, and will do until the time when my grey gathers enough momentum to cover the majority of my head.

And when that time comes, I will happily embrace my grey (and equally happily ditch the tin-foil clad hours in the hairdressers chair) and if anyone has a negative opinion about that or thinks differently about me because of it, well frankly that’s their problem, not mine.

Oh, and by the way, if you want to see lots of examples of unapologetically, gorgeously grey haired people, check out the Instagram hashtag #greyhairdontcare

What’s your view of grey hair? Do you embrace or avoid it? I’d love to know your experiences and thoughts