Easing your way out of a New Year slump
The start of a new year is supposed to be a time of buoyant optimism about, and gleeful planning for, the opportunities and adventures that lie ahead in the coming 12 months.
But what if…..it isn’t?
What if, for any of a myriad of reasons, physical, emotional or situational, you find yourself stuck in a slump, facing the prospect of another year with a disheartening lack of anticipation or positivity?
How, when all about you seem to be relishing the refreshing of the calendar (and I do say ‘seem’, because appearances can be deceptive - but I’ll come to that in a bit), can you recover your mojo and get it, if not bouncing fully back into action, at least firing on a few more cylinders?
I’m usually a pretty upbeat, positive person, but I’ve had my share of New Year slumps, this year, for various reasons, being one of them. What follows are a few strategies that I’ve found have helped, and are currently helping, me to work my way towards looking ahead to the coming year with a little more of a spring in my step.
First up, you can be absolutely sure
You’re not alone
Each one of us is, of course, unique in our own particular and - mostly - wonderful ways. But in a situation like this, I’m glad to say you’re far from unique. Going back to that appearances-being-deceptive thing, I know that when I’m looking at the world from an emotionally slumped place, it seems that everyone else is bouncing around full joy and optimism.
And - as I know you know in your heart of hearts as well as I do - that’s just not true.
You can be certain that there are a goodly percent who, maybe like you’re managing to, are putting a brave/good face on it, but who are nonetheless struggling with their own degrees of low mood and motivation. And another percent who you’re not seeing at all because their slump struggles are confining them to a smaller sphere of daily life.
Whilst I realise isn’t a slump-switch strategy, it is something that I find important to remind myself of on the days when my mood is doing its best to persuade me otherwise.
This next suggestion is the one I unfailingly find to be the best action to take at any stage of a slump
It’s good to talk
Having an honest conversation with someone who you know will listen to you with an open heart, hear you without judgement and be gentle, but firm where necessary, in their support and encouragement, is never going to be anything other than hugely helpful at a time like this.
That person could be a partner, family member or a friend, or a mix of those, because you’re certainly not confined to one conversation with just one person (though I’d warn against too many, which can lead to unhelpful wallowing). But I pretty much guarantee you’ll instinctively know who the right person/people is/are, so trust your feelings and shove aside any inclination not to ‘bother or burden them with your problems.’
You know how much you love to help the people you care about? Well, it works both ways.
There are some other sorts of conversations that can be really beneficial to your motivational mojo, but before I get to those, this is another important slump saviour
Be kind
…to yourself. Positively the worst thing you can do right now is to beat yourself up for being a bit down. Sure you almost certainly have plenty of reasons not to be feeling low, but the fact is, you are, and giving yourself a hard time for that is self-defeating on just about every level.
There are always going to be times in our lives when our mood slumps for no apparent reason, just as there will be times when it’s all too clear why that’s happening. Either way, giving yourself the permission to feel whatever you’re feeling, and to give those feelings the space to be….well, felt, is a far healthier and eventually mood-mending way to cope than trying to convince yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling the way you do. Because I can tell you from unsuccessful experience, that doesn’t work.
What does work is finding ways to
Take positive action
Doing something, anything, that feels positive right now is somehow doubly powerful. It really doesn’t matter what that is, whether it’s doing some sort of exercise when you absolutely don’t feel like it, having a conversation (see above) when all you want to do is stay slumped on the sofa watching TV, making a freshly cooked meal when you’d far prefer to order another takeaway. Anything that tugs your mood in a more positive direction is good news.
Of course, there are all sorts of other ways to take positive action, like, for example:
Starting a gratitude journal or jar (that’s a jar you gradually fill with a folded up note of any good thing - big or small - that happens to you, over the course of the year. Then on new year’s eve, you open them all up and read them. It’s surprising how powerfully uplifting it is to write the notes, see them build up during the year, and then read them back).
Signing up for a course or activity. If you’ve ever thought you might like to try or learn something new, or refresh a skill you’ve allowed to lapse, now is as good a time as any to look into how you might do that.
If your slump is work-related, finding people to have conversations with who might be able to help you figure out what to do to change things (Google can be your friend here. These are the kinds of conversations that are often best had with people you don’t already know. A fresh perspective can be unexpectedly helpful)
Whatever positive action, or better still actions, you take, bear in mind that
Baby steps can be best
Not only is there no need to go from zero to 100 miles an hour, I’d say that’s a pretty bad goal to set yourself right now. Small steps are not only more than good enough, they’re exactly what you need to be setting yourself.
Speaking from hard-learned personal experience, you will, I promise, find that each one of those little moves forward builds momentum and purpose in ways that are far more powerful than their size or scope would suggest. Again from from my own experience, sometimes a little step can lead you in a quite unexpected and rewarding direction.
The time will come, maybe quicker than you think, when steps turn into strides.
In the meantime, be patient and don’t be afraid to
Indulge yourself
Not in wallowing - though again, please refer to the ‘Be kind’ paragraph if you find yourself in a temporary wallow - but in the sort of self-care treat that lifts your mood.
That might be a long bubble bath with a good book or podcast. Or a rewarding bit of retail therapy. Or a feel-good film accompanied by a box of chocolates or a packet of biscuits (maybe not the whole box or packet …) You get the idea.
A slump is no time to deny yourself the pleasures in life. On the contrary, it’s exactly the time to pamper yourself with them.
If you find yourself in a slump - at New Year or any time - I’m sending you a big virtual hug and hoping that you find these tried and lengthily tested suggestions helpful. If you have any slump-easing strategies that you use that aren’t listed here and that could help other readers - and me - please do add them in the comments. Thank you.
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