I’ve been lucky enough to interview the truly fabulous Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson on a number of occasions, most recently at an event for Women of the Year (see pics above and below) marking the beginning of her tenure as our new President (for those of you who may not know, I’m a director of Women of the Year and have been involved with the organisation for many years).

Whenever we talk - whether it’s in front of an audience or one-to-one, I’m always struck and inspired by her fierce commitment to the issues and causes that matter to her (which include disability rights, sport and on-line security) and her unflagging determination to use her position as a cross-bench peer and her public profile to highlight and fight against injustice, discrimination and inequality.

The fact that she does all that with equally generous and unfailingly authentic warmth, relatability, openness and self-deprecating humour makes her even more awesome in my book. And even more of a delight to interview.

It was during one of our interviews, and thanks to that wonderful inability to be anything other than her true and open self, that I discovered something about her which, to say it came as a surprise, would be something of an understatement.

I was part of the team that launched and presented the first series of the Women of the Year podcast, The Extraordinary Ordinary (this is not as much of a digression as it seems, so hang on in there). We end each interview with the truly extraordinary women we featured in that series, and the second one that has followed it, (both of which you can find on most podcast platforms including Spotify ) with four quick fire questions, one of which is: What’s the one thing about you that would surprise people to know? (you’ll have to listen to the podcast to find out what the other three are).

The answers have been illuminating, unexpected and at times surprisingly funny. Like the charity champion who admitted that she had bunked off school as a teenager to go to a pop concert and still hadn’t told her parents. The social activist whose confessed that her happy place is driving a transit van. And the Islamic counsellor who revealed that she loves to play pool.

Tanni’s surprising story

But it was Tanni’s answer to the question, when I put it to her in an interview for a Women of the Year publication, that was, by the longest shot, the most surprising. I share it here with you in Tanni’s own words.

“My husband and I have matching tattoos. We were watching LA Confidential and there was a bit where someone has to identify their daughter’s dead body, and I said to Ian “I’m not going to identify you if you die, someone else is going to have to do that.” and he said “we should get matching tattoos on our feet” - because you always see on TV and in films that people in morgues have identity tags on their feet. My brother-in-law is a pathologist, so I rang him and asked him what foot they tag in his morgue. He said, “the right foot”, so we went to a tattoo place to get a morgue tag each tattooed on our right feet. But the tattooist, who had his whole head tattooed and pierced, said “that’s the sickest thing I’ve ever been asked to do. I’m not doing it.” So we debated what to have done instead, and ended up having the word “Expired” tattooed on our right big toes followed by dashes. The deal is the one who’s left alive has to fill in the date with a sharpie pen!”

I bet you weren’t expecting that, were you? I know I definitely wasn’t!

Revealing truths

When I first started as Editor of Woman’s Weekly, I inherited a long-standing team most of whom had been working together for many years. I wanted not just to get to know each of them myself, but to reinvigorate their working relationships so that I could, in turn, bring a fresh new energy to the magazine. So I got them all together and asked each of them that same question.

I don’t now remember any of their individual responses (I barely remember what happened to me last week and this was 15 years ago), but I do still clearly remember how much their responses did, indeed, surprise their colleagues. And how the revelations they shared so openly with each other that day generated a renewed energy and a deeper trust in their relationships with each other that subsequently played out on the pages of the magazine in so many positive ways.

I would hardly say I know Tanni well, and I certainly didn’t know any of my wonderful Woman’s Weekly colleagues at all at that stage, but my point in sharing her brilliantly unexpected story, and what happened when I asked the same question of my new team, is that however well you know, or think you know, someone, there will almost certainly be something about them you weren’t aware of.

And that unknown something can often reveal an aspect of their personality, character or back story that makes you think of and see them in a whole new light. And that, in turn, can add a whole new facet to your relationship with them, whether they’re a friend, colleague or family member. Someone you’ve known for ever, or someone you’re still in the foothills of a relationship with.

Asking someone to tell me something surprising about themselves has become one of my favourite interview questions, and one of the things I also love asking people in my day to day life. Give it a go and see what responses you get!

What would your reply be?