The benefits of mentoring, which can be as beneficial to mentors as it is to mentees

Having only just discovered that January is Mentoring Month (better late than never, eh?), it got me thinking about the mentors I’ve been lucky enough to have in my life and all the invaluable guidance and wisdom they’ve been generous enough to share with me. And to hope that the people I’ve been lucky enough to mentor over the years feel at least a little the same.

Mentoring is something that can be put in place formally, though an organised, structured agreement, or informally via a casual arrangement. It can take place in a workplace or academic setting or be focused on personal development. My experience, which covers most of those (other than the academic version) is that it’s a relationship that’s every bit as fulfilling and impactful for the mentor as it is for the mentee.

My first mentor appointed herself to the role when I became the editor of a magazine she had successfully launched and steered through its early years. A true giant of the publishing world - albeit one of tiny, and impeccably stylish, stature - Felicity Green created the womens’ pages in the Daily Mirror, and spent almost 20 years there, rising to become the first woman on the board of a national newspaper.

When I was given my first editorship, at the Marks and Spencer Magazine, she took me under her formidable wing, summonsing me for a ruthlessly honest, but never unkind, debrief on each issue. I learnt so much from those sessions and conversations and the friendship that developed between us despite our 30 year age gap.

Another of my invaluable professional mentors was another hugely experienced journalist. Award winning magazine editor June Smith-Shepherd (she launched Pick Me Up amongst many other dazzling career successes) was assigned to me by the publishing company I joined when I started as editor of Woman’s Weekly. Our regular mentoring sessions would often veer into discussions about our lives as well as work and her immense expertise, wonderful humour and unfailing support were absolutely invaluable to me both professionally at that time and personally later on.

Over the years I’ve returned the professional mentoring favour (in structured and informal ways) to a number of wonderful young journalists - hopefully with at least some of the same benefits to them. Certainly they’re all carving out impressively successful careers for themselves, which makes me immeasurably happy and proud.

As a result of all those relationships and others that have involved personal mentoring - both giving and receiving - I’ve come to understand a few key things about what makes a successful mentor/mentee arrangement which I share below should they be of use or interest.

Mentoring is about sharing wisdom, advice and encouragement based on your own experiences - the good and the bad. What it isn’t, is formal coaching. Mentors aren’t trained. You’re there to help the other person, provide constructive feedback and guidance when needed. To be in their corner and support them in whatever way they need.
To be a good mentor it helps to have the following qualities:
Empathy: Understanding the challenges your mentee faces (because you’ve been there yourself) and being genuinely interested in and concerned about their personal and/or professional growth, needs and concerns.
Transparency: When you’re open about your own struggles and mistakes (certainly plenty of them in my case!) it helps your mentee feel more comfortable about the challenges they face and enables them to trust your relationship more.
Humour: The ability to see the funny side of things (where appropriate obviously) is a valuable skill in navigating the challenges of work and life.
Dependability: A mentor doesn’t need to be constantly available, but your mentee needs to know you’ll be there for guidance or support, whether you agree to set aside regular times, or offer to be a sounding board whenever its needed.
Mentors need to:
Listen actively: Understand what challenges your mentee is facing, and where they need support.
Ask the right questions: Don’t just offer solutions (although those can be useful too). You should be helping your mentee develop their problem-solving skills and boosting their decision-making confidence .
Share relevant experiences: Use your own experiences to show how you navigated similar situations without making the conversation all about you. The focus should always be on your mentee.
Encourage independence: Motivate your mentee to find their own answers and solutions. A good mentor will aim empower their mentee so the relationship becomes redundant.
What you get out of being a mentee
Access to wisdom: One of the greatest advantages of having a mentor is the access it gives you to someone with more experience. Someone who has been through many of the challenges you’re facing and can offer advice from that experience rather than in theory.
Increased confidence: Having someone in your corner, believing in you is a huge confidence booster. Mentors can help you see your strengths, challenge your limiting beliefs, and push you to do things you might not otherwise.
A safe space: where you can express your doubts and vulnerabilities without judgment. Knowing that your mentor has your back makes it easier to take step out of your comfort zone.
Personal accountability: Having someone to answer to, even if it's just for a quick check-in, can be incredibly motivating.
Perspective and clarity: It’s easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day, especially when things aren’t going according to plan. Having a mentor can help you step back and see the see your way through and/or consider bigger picture.

Mentoring is something that ripples outwards in so many ways. It doesn’t just impact the lives and work of the two individuals involved, but also has the potential to shape upcoming leaders, thinkers and creators, whilst hopefully inspiring future mentors who can pass on what they’ve learnt from their mentoring experiences.

It’s also something you can do regardless of age. My marvellous 92 year old mum, who was a ground-breaking lawyer for over 50 years, was recently asked to mentor a young Ukrainian who had arrived in the UK with her family as a refugee and is attempting to carve out a career for herself in the legal profession here.

Most of all though, mentoring is every bit as rewarding and enhancing to the person giving it as it is to the person receiving it. Every experience in my life as a mentor and a mentee has helped me to evolve, learn, appreciate and understand more about myself and my capabilities, professionally and personally. I treasure, and am profoundly grateful for each one and the part they’ve played in me becoming the person I am today.